


Roller Coaster

by HavingaVeryDrarryDay (Vega_Lume)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Depression, Drama & Romance, F/M, Feelings of Abandonment, I honestly don't know how long this is going to be, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Not Beta Read, Not Epilogue Compliant, Other, Past Sexual Abuse, Past Torture, Romance, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, auror!Harry, genderfluid!Draco, mentions 8th year but not an 8th year story, please don't let the tags scare you away, this will end happy I swear!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-05 15:56:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21211193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vega_Lume/pseuds/HavingaVeryDrarryDay
Summary: Draco is suddenly arrested and sent to Azkaban during their 8th year when he went home during the winter holidays.Over two years later he is released and Harry attempts to reestablish the tentative friendship they had started in their last year in Hogwarts, only the Draco that came home isn't the man he remembered.Can they overcome the nightmare that was Azkaban and have a life together?





	Roller Coaster

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! You made it past the tags and decided to check things out!
> 
> Thanks!
> 
> I wanted to start off by telling you that in this story Draco is biologically female.  
As such, this is ‘technically’ a het drarry ship and there will be sexual content involving this couple.
> 
> He his gender fluid and will switch between being male or female, both at the same time, or adopt what he calls a ‘neutral state’ usually on days when he’s feeling out of sorts. Though he sometimes changes every day or even in the same day, he will often go weeks as one or the other, usually male as that is what he is most comfortable with, having grown up male.
> 
> He doesn’t get offended or see it as miss-gendering if someone who knew him before he came out uses male pronouns on ‘neutral’ or ‘female’ days.
> 
> Like all identities, gender fluidity is different for everyone and I am going to use my experience as reference, even though I identify differently from the character. 
> 
> Buckle up kiddos; it’s going to get bumpy.

Harry stood near the entrance the Emergency Admittance lounge for St. Mungo’s. It was his fifth day of Emergency Medical training for the Auror program, and so far today he was thoroughly bored. 

In the year since the war had ended, he had already passed all of his practical exams and basic training, now he had to complete several rotations of specialized training, including what to do during a situation where medical help was required. Should he, his partner, or someone else be injured he had to be able to evaluate how severe the need was and how to safely transport himself or others without aggravating the injury if the situation was too dangerous to admit the Auror Healers, or if the injured person would die if they had to wait for them.

As with all of his training, the first step was loads of tedious reading, followed by written exams to prove he understood what it was he had read. Then he would receive a few weeks of hands on experience, followed by more reading and more exams.  
Today was a pre-exam day and he and the other Auror Trainees had been allowed an hour for lunch. 

Hermione had promised to join him today and quiz him over lunch but she was uncharacteristically late and his meal brake was rapidly growing smaller.

“Oh, Harry I’m so sorry,” she called out the moment she stepped from the Floo. She was struggling to shift a pile of parchment that she held into one hand so she could get her satchel open. Harry moved to help her and together they shoved the lot inside. “This apprenticeship isn’t at all what I expected.” She went on to explain as they headed out for a quick bite. “I’m beginning to feel more like a servant than a student, and if he asks me to fetch him one more cup of coffee I’m going to dump it down his trousers.”

She wouldn’t. 

Harry knew she loved this apprenticeship program for Magical Law and was passionate about becoming a Barrister.

“So,” she continued after they found a table in a small eatery a few doors down from the hospital. “How has the first round of exams gone for you?”

“Pretty well I think,” He replied, eyes skimming his menu. “The books they had us read were pretty easy to follow and those study tips you taught me back in 8th year really helped me remember what I need to.”

“Excellent!” she beamed then took a sip of her tea. “What do you have next?”

They spent the remaining three quarters of an hour going over the Emergency Evac procedures, and then they were both gobbling down the last of the meals before dashing back to the hospital. They parted ways at the guest Floo, where Hermione disappeared with a wave leaving Harry to wander back to the lounge to rejoin the other trainees.

It was nearing 5 when they were dismissed for the evening and they all filed to the lounge to take the Floos back to the Ministry to sign out for the day.

As Harry shuffled through the queue he saw someone he hadn’t seen since the war.

He craned his neck to confirm that his eyes weren’t playing tricks and sure enough, there was Draco Malfoy, his arm firmly grasped by an guard who seemed to be arguing with the Matron at the admittance desk.

He was still dressed in the stripped clothing of an Azkaban prisoner; his hair was longer and hung in dark, greasy tangles around his face. His feet were bare and filthy as he stood silently next to his guard.

Stepping from the queue, Harry got as close as he dared without making it obvious he was trying to be nosy.  
“He’s the seventh on this week,” the Matron was saying. “Why can’t you tend him there?”

“Because the bug is spreading and they all got it,” the guard replied in a deep, gruff voice that matched his grizzled appearance. “The Ministry is releasing those that got 90 days or less on their terms so they can come here leaving the Prison Healers to tend the others. This one only had two weeks left so now he’s your problem.”

Without waiting for the Matron to take him or call for a Healer the guard simple walked away leaving Malfoy standing alone at the desk.

The Matron’s face turned maroon in anger and she stormed after him, “Now see here,” she called but the man had pushed his way to the front of the queue and was gone in a whirl of green flame.

“Ma’am,” Harry said gently as she stared in shock at the empty Floo.

“Yes,” she turned and composed herself, “May I help you mister Potter?”

“I know him,” he said nodding towards the blond man who hadn’t moved in inch from where he had been left. “I’ll stay with him until a healer can take a look at him.”

“Oh,” she seemed flustered again, “That won’t be necessary mister Potter.”

“Its fine really,” he walked with her to the desk, “I don’t mind.”

“Very well,” she relented. “Wait here a moment.” She popped into the room behind the desk and returned with some slippers and a blanket. She crouched and helped Malfoy slip his icy feet into them then wrapped the blanket around his shoulders. “Take him to the lounge; someone will be around for him soon.

Harry nodded and groped for Malfoy’s disturbingly boney arm under the blanket and tugged him towards the lounge.  
The other man followed easily and sat when Harry bid him too. He never looked up, keeping his eyes trained on the floor.

“I’ll be right back,” Harry said after arranging the blanket over his legs. Malfoy didn’t respond and Harry walked away with a frown.

“Missy,” he called out to a girl in his training course, “Tell the instructor for me that I had and emergency and had to stay. I’ll call round tomorrow if he needs to talk to me.”

“Sure Harry,” the Irish girl replied with a smile. “I’ll see you Monday.”

“Thanks Missy.”

Back in the lounge he found Malfoy exactly where he had left him. Harry studied him for a bit, at least what he could see of him under the tangle of hair.

He was pale, paler than he had ever seen him before. His hair was also a shade or two darker under the dirt and oil. It was clear he hadn’t seen sun for a very long time. Probably for the entire two years of his sentence.

He was painfully gaunt and thin, circles so dark beneath his eyes it looked as if they had both been blackened. He kept blinking and Harry realized that he was fighting to stay awake.

“It shouldn’t be much longer,” he said and got no response. “Would you like a drink, some tea perhaps?” He tried but again it was as if Malfoy had gone deaf.

“Mister Potter!” the Matron called and waved them forward.

Malfoy swayed slightly when Harry got him to his feet, but he shuffled along obediently as Harry guided him to the door where an old, bothered looking Healer frowned when they approached and walked off without a word, expecting them to follow.

“Up here,” he said nodding to an exam table. “Quickly now, I haven’t got all day.”

Harry scowled but helped Malfoy sit.

The healer pulled the blanket away; dropping it on the floor then waved his wand, muttering diagnostic spells under his breath. 

Malfoy began to shiver but the healer did nothing to ease the chill.

“Hey, he’s cold.” Harry tried.

The healer gave him a ‘look’ then seeming very put out; he crouched and grabbed the blanket, tossing onto Malfoy’s lap.  
“What a dick,” Harry whispered as he arranged the blanket around him again.

“He has pneumonia, it’s been spreading through Azkaban for weeks now,” the man said as he summoned a parchment pad and quill. “There’s nothing much to be done for it until his magical block expires.”

“Block, what block?” Harry asked.

“All prisoners have their magic blocked as part of their sentence, which is probably why nearly everyone in Azkaban has pneumonia too, no magic to make them immune,” The healer scribbled on the pad. 

“His magical block is set on a timer, so even though they let him out early, the block will stay until he reaches his original release date, about two weeks from now.”

“But surely you can do something?”

“He’s going to have to fight it the Muggle way. I’ll give him some potions for fever and ease his breathing and the cough he’s bound to have but other than that he’s on his own.” He ripped a page from the pad and held it out to Harry.

The second the paper left his grasp the healer left.

A moment later a young Medi-witch appeared and looked surprised to see them.

“Oh I’m sorry; this room has been marked as vacant.”

“That healer was an arsehole,” Harry told her as he helped Malfoy to his feet again and the woman nodded in understanding.

“He’s been released,” she said gently. “The hospital doesn’t want to be responsible for him.”

“I understand,” Harry replied. “Where can I take this?” he showed her the note.

“If you care to wait in the lounge, I’ll get the potions for you. If not you can have that filled at any apothecary.”

“Would you do it for me please?” He asked and she smiled, taking the parchment from him.

“Won’t take but a moment,” she replied and after leaving them in the lounge she hurried off, returning a short while later with an apothecary bag that clinked gently when she passed it to him. She helped them to the Floo staying at Malfoy’s other elbow and took the blanket when it was their turn.

“Keep them,” she said kindly when Malfoy made to step out of the slippers and smiled for him when he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye.

Harry called out his Floo address and they were swept away together.

Malfoy nearly went to his knees when they landed and Harry, just catching him, managed to get him on the sofa before he could hit the floor.

He stood for a moment and simply looked at the man seated on his sofa. He hadn’t actually thought to bring him home with him; it just seemed like the natural progression of the events. 

He knew Malfoy had nothing. Both his parents were in Azkaban, the Ministry had seized everything they owned. The Manor, the vaults, everything had taken or been sold off.

“Would you like a bath, or something to eat?” Harry asked, crouching down to Malfoy’s line of sight. The gray eyes kept glancing away from him as if he was afraid to make eye contact. “You can look at me, it’s alright.”

The eyes flicked about a minute longer before hesitantly locking with his. A shudder wracked his frame and he looked away again.

Harry sat back on his heels and thought for a moment.

“Bath first, okay?”

A tiny nod and Harry nearly crowed with success. With a large smile he left him before the fire and went to fill the tub in the downstairs bath, casting warming charms to take the chill from the room. He moved the soap, shampoo, and a cloth over to the tub. They were nothing fancy but would get the job done.

“Do you need any help?” Harry asked after fetching his guest and left him standing before the gently steaming tub.  
Another tiny nod.

‘Okay,’ Harry thought as he helped him out of the filth encrusted clothing. The smell of it threatened to bring up the lunch that he had shared with Hermione. The top stuck to his back and he flinched as Harry pulled it away, revealing puffy, foul smelling cuts and sores on his back and ribs.

“Sorry,” Harry whispered with a grimace as it finally came free. 

He Vanished it then moved to the trousers. He wore no pants under them, and his legs hips to knees also had pressure sores and cuts that looked like lash marks.

He must have been in agony as he sat in that lounge and on the exam table.

Vanishing the trousers as well he then cast a Scourgify on the slippers after helping Malfoy into the water, more focused on the wounds and not really noticing the blond was naked.

Malfoy hunched forward, drawing his knees up to his chest. It was a little fuller than Harry remembered, but that made sense. Draco had stopped taking the potions back in 8th year and had cautioned that he may develop a bit more. 

Harry had never bathed anyone other than himself before and was terrified of making things worse as he lathered up a piece of flannel and smoothed it over the boney shoulders and back. 

As gently as he dared he wiped away the grime from the knots of his spine and the protruding ribs, tentatively dabbing at the weeping sores that littered Malfoy’s pale, bruised body. 

“Thank you,” came a hoarse whisper and Harry almost dropped the bottle of shampoo he had just picked up. He hadn’t realized how worried he had been that Malfoy’s voice may had been damaged.

“You’re welcome,” Harry managed and juggled the bottle back around and poured some of the soap into his hand. He worked it through the greasy hair, needing to wash it through three times before it felt and smelled clean.

He then drained out some of the water and topped up the tub so the water was clean and warm again.

“Here, you soak a bit while I find you something to wear, then I’ll get us some supper.”

Malfoy was silent again so Harry left him to soak.

His Floo was flashing and he remembered he had promised Hermione he would join her and Ron for supper.

“Harry, where have you been?” She asked in concern.

“Sorry ‘Mione, I have an unexpected guest.”

“A guest?” Now she sounded excited, they had been trying to set him up for ages and now Harry could practically see the hearts in her eyes.

“There’s a nasty bug going through Azkaban and the Ministry it releasing some of the prisoners early to ease up the load from the prison healers. They had just dumped Malfoy at St. Mungo’s right when I was leaving for the day. I couldn’t just leave him like that so I brought him home.”

“Wait, you have Draco Malfoy at your cottage right now?”

Harry nodded.

“And he’s sick?”

“The healer said it was pneumonia. They didn’t want to be responsible for him and he’s in pretty bad shape. I figured I could at least help him out until he gets back on his feet.”

“Move aside, I’m coming through.”

Doing as he was told he stepped away and a second later she was there looking about.

“Where is he?”

“He’s in the bath. I’m supposed be getting him some clean clothes… Wait!” he called out as she moved past him and down the corridor to the bath.

He found her standing just out of the open door a hand pressed to her mouth. She took a deep breath through her nose, lowered her hand and stepped into the room.

He could hear the murmur of her voice as he slowly approached and peered around the door-frame. She was crouching beside the tub to be level with his face as he sat with his chin on his knees.

“If you need anything at all you can call me anytime, alright.” 

His gaze was focused down on the cloudy water but he gave her a small nod and she smiled. 

“I’ll be back later with some medicine to help you feel better, so I’ll see you soon.”

He didn’t respond.

“He’s in an awful state, isn’t he?” Hermione said as they went back to the lounge so she could see the potions the hospital had prescribed. Dumping them out on the table and sorting through them so she knew what else she needed to buy.

“Azkaban in an awful place,” Harry replied quietly.

“This one is for you,” she said holding of a phial that had his name neatly printed on the side.

“What’s this?”

“He’s still contagious,” she explained. “This is just a precaution so you don’t catch it, though you should be fine without it.  
He pulled the cork out and drank it down. It tasted the way a hot, wet rubbish pile smelled.

“I’m going to pop over to the chemist and grab some muggle medicine; I’ll pick up some takeaway on my way back.” She said when he was done and managed to keep it down.

“What about Ron?”

“Oh, that reminds me!” she said as she grabbed a pinch of Floo powder. “I’ll bring some of Ron’s old things for Draco to wear; Ron’s closer in height than you are.”

“’Mione,” he tried but she was gone.

“Sorry about that,” he said, rejoining Malfoy in the bathroom. “She’s gotten a bit pushier since school.”

The drip of the faucet was the only sound heard for several moments then Malfoy whispered, “I’d like to get out now. Please?”  
“Yeah, of course,” he grabbed a large towel and draped it across his back before helping him stand and step out. Harry steadied him for a moment then they slowly made their way to the sofa.

“Hermione is bringing you some clothes, so I’ll just get you my robe and a blanket.” He made sure Malfoy was all right to stand on his own, then he Disapparated to his room grabbed the robe and a duvet then popped back in lounge a second later. Setting the towel aside, he helped Malfoy into the robe then sat him down and bundled him up. Taking up the towel again he squeezed the remaining water from the shoulder length hair to ensure it was dry enough to not cause a chill.  
He stirred up the flames then cast another warming charm before heading to the kitchen to put the kettle on. Just as it whistled the Floo chimed.

“Come on through,” he called when he saw it was Hermione holding several bags, and wasn’t the least bit surprised when Ron followed a second later.

“I brought curry, I hope that’s all right,” she said setting the take away bag on the coffee table then began emptying another bag, setting several small bottles on the table. “I also asked the chemist what was best for bed sores, the cream he suggested should work well for your wounds.” 

She moved to pull the blanket aside then paused and turned to Ron, “Why don’t you and Harry take the food in a dish it up, and leave the clothes.”

Ron dropped the bag he held and picked up the food, joining Harry who had started for the kitchen when Hermione started talking.

“Yikes mate, it must be something awful the way she’s been fussing about him,” Ron commented when he set the food on the bench then went to grab the plates.

“He’s been beaten and starved, and now he’s sick. So yeah, it’s bad.”

They lingered for longer than necessary and headed back in just as Hermione was wrapping him back up.

“Harry, can you bring the soup I brought him in a cup please?”

“Sure thing,” he replied taking the container and transferring the soup to a mug.

She was busily sorting the medicine again, most of which had now been opened, on the far edge of the table when he brought it in. She had also brought tissues and the waste basket from the bath and set then within his reach. It was clear she had meant for him to convalesce on the sofa and not up in a guest room as Harry had planned.

But it made sense. Malfoy wouldn’t have to climb the stairs this way, and the downstairs bath was closer to the sofa than the guest bath was to the beds in either of guest rooms upstairs. There was the added benefit of the large fireplace to keep him warm.

Harry would just have his Floo calls redirected to the smaller Floo in the sitting room connected to his bedroom upstairs, and to the hearth in the kitchen.

Malfoy, with Hermione’s help managed the entire mug of soup. She set the empty cup aside then helped him lay back.  
“Get some sleep,” she said to him as she tucked the blanket around him. “I’ll stop by tomorrow to see how you’re getting on.”  
He nodded for her and she patted his shoulder.

She moved things about a bit more then lowered the lights before taking the dirty cup into the kitchen.

“It’s early on yet,” she warned him as she rinsed the mug out. “He is going to get worse before he gets better. The best thing to do is keep him warm and hydrated. The fluids will help loosen the phlegm so he can cough it out easier.” She took a bite from the plate Ron set in front of her. “The antibiotic potion says to give him one dropper full in the morning and again at night in a cup of liquid. I put it in his soup tonight. There are fever reducer and cough suppressant potions from St. Mungo’s too. From the chemist I’ve brought an expectorant and some cream for those wounds. The dosages are on the bottles.”  
“Thanks Hermione,” Harry said earnestly. 

“If he gets really bad, take him back to St. Mungo’s. Hopefully it won’t come to that but they can send him to The London from there. They have Medi-witches and Wizards working there that treat wizards with Muggle medicine when other treatments fail. They have ways of getting around proper Muggle identification.”

“I didn’t know that,” Ron said in surprise.

“It’s something new the Ministry it trying. It’s mostly used by Muggle borns or those raised by Muggles, as they are more willing to try Muggle treatments.” Harry said.

“They’re comfortable with the way Muggle medicine works having grown up with it,” Hermione added.

They chatted quietly for a bit longer, then Hermione when to check Malfoy and grab her purse before she and Ron Flooed home through the kitchen.

Harry double checked that everything was okay, and then filled a glass with water for Malfoy, setting it where he would be able to see it but not accidentally knock it over when reaching for it or the Kleenex. He then cast a charm to signal him should Malfoy wake and go wandering about before going up to his room.

It was a little early for bed, especially for a Friday. But he was suddenly bone weary and in want of a nice, hot shower.  
He felt even more exhausted as he sat on his bed afterwards and dried his hair. 

He was bored again.

He had finished the written exams earlier that day so it wasn’t necessary to revisit the books but he picked one up anyway. He had a small library downstairs next to the bath, but he didn’t want to risk waking Malfoy to get something else.

It was early enough to go out for a bit, but he didn’t feel comfortable leaving his guest alone. Not that he was really worried that Malfoy do something to his house, but the man was quite sick. He should stay in the case he took a turn.

He flopped back onto the bed, heavy textbook on his chest and stared at the ceiling for a bit.

“Fuck it,” he grumbled and rolled to his feet. Leaving the book on the mattress he left the room, creeping quietly down to the library.

He paused at the bottom of the stairs and listened.

Malfoy’s breathing was a little labored; rasping wheezes punctuated each indrawn breath. He shifted under the duvet and gave a few weak coughs before going quiet again.

He turned down the hall and went to the library directly across from the bath. It had probably been a bedroom at one point but someone before him had covered the walls with mismatched built in floor to ceiling bookshelves. Only one tiny portion of them had been filled since Harry moved in out of Hogwarts, mostly with books he had needed for his studies.

He hadn’t wanted to live at Grimmauld Place but also didn’t have the heart to sell it off so he decided to hang on to it for now, leaving it to Kreacher to care for. He would probably give it to Teddy someday if the boy wanted it. If not, in time he may be ready to live in it, or let it go.

Kreacher did pop over to the cottage from time to time, mostly to dust and do up the laundry, but now that Malfoy was there, he might ask the elf to stop by more often, especially during the times Harry was away for training.

Sighing he picked out a few books and idly wondered for the hundredth time if he should just get a telly, because it would be nice to have one right about now.

Holding the books against his chest he started for the stairs and again he paused at the bottom and listened. Malfoy didn’t stir, so he left him to sleep and went up to bed.

He woke at the earliest part of dawn to the sound of deep, painful sounding coughs and Harry was up and in the lounge before even realizing he had Disapparated there.

Malfoy was half off the couch his upper body hanging over the side, hacking into a tissue.

The water glass was empty on the floor, a small puddle of water under it.

“Went down wrong,” Malfoy managed between coughs, waving a thin hand towards the glass.

“Let me help you up,” Harry said, easing him up to recline against the cushion. “Just rest a bit while I get you your potion and some tea.”

Malfoy’s eyes were closed and breaths shallow. Harry could swear he looked worse, but Hermione said he would be.  
He quickly cast the diagnostic spell he had just learned in his medical training. 

It flashed a red 39.4 degrees along with a few more lines of data, followed by information on how to treat him.  
Cast cooling charms. Repeat charms until temperature settles between 37 and 38. If available administer fever reducing potion.

The first cooling charm hit and Malfoy moaned in discomfort, trying to pull the duvet up.

“Sorry,” Harry said quietly and waited for the charm to settle before hurrying to make the tea. He added the dropper of Antibiotic potion, and then poured out a dose of the Fever Relief along with one of the tablets from the chemist that was meant to help him cough out the phlegm. 

He coaxed Malfoy into a seated position and gave him the tablet and helped him sip the tea, washing it down.

He grimaced at the taste but drained the cup, then accepted the Fever Relief potion. It triggered another bought of coughing and Harry supported him as his body shook with it.

He was gasping at the end and tried to lay back.

“Not yet,” Harry said apologetically. “I need you to take the last potion and try to eat a little something before you go back to sleep. You can’t heal if you don’t have fuel.”

He whined. He actually whined and Harry smiled. It was the first truly ‘Malfoy’ thing he’d done since being left at St. Mungo’s. The smile faded however when the coughing began again.

Harry dug out some instant wheat cereal and dumped a portion of the dry porridge in a bowl, pouring the leftover water from the tea over it; he dithered over what to sweeten it with and grabbed the honey, remembering Malfoy had liked honey at school. Filling a new glass with water, he carried it and the cereal back to the ailing man who, thankfully managed to stay away. 

Harry gave him a dose of the Cough Stopper potion and had him drink the water like the instructions said to do.  
He managed it without triggering more coughing and got down half of the porridge before pushing it away. Harry helped him lie back and he was asleep again before he was fully tucked in.

Harry sat and watched Malfoy sleep for a short while.

He was genuinely surprised by how much had missed him.

When he had returned to Hogwarts to get credit for all the 7th year classes he had missed, he and the others returning had been housed together. There had only been twelve of them in all, but only three of them were boys, Harry, Ron and Malfoy.  
The three of them had no choice but to share a room.

It was nearing the end of September when Harry had gotten soaked thanks to a sudden downpour that hit during the Herbology lesson that was required for his Potions N.E.W.T., he had barged into their room looking to change quickly so he could get to his next class when he found Malfoy, who had also gotten soaked and was changing.

The screech and thrown shoe had startled him, causing him to stumble back out into the corridor. A wandless spell cast by Malfoy slamming the door in his face just as he fell back landing on his arse on the stone floor. 

The entire incident lasted no more than a few seconds, but the image of the small bust with its petal pink nipples had been instantly burned into his mind.

He had fled back down the stairs and went to class, damp and smelling of fertilizer and grass.

He didn’t see Malfoy again until breakfast the next day, the blond silently seated at the far end of the table their year shared. He had been the only Slytherin to return and tended to spend most of his time alone. Even when in their dorm room, he usually holed up in a corner or behind the curtains around his bed that almost always stayed closed.

Harry still wasn’t sure what to make of what he had seen; all he knew was it was something private that Malfoy had very obviously didn’t want known.

It was a week or so later that Harry had found Malfoy alone in the boy’s showers, curled in the one farthest from the door, wrapped in a robe looking pale and ill.

There was a towel with a red stain on it, stuffed beside him and Harry immediately understood what it was he was seeing.  
He had left the room and whispered to Hermione what he had seen. 

She had calmly gone to her room, then a few moments later gone into the boy’s bath where she and Malfoy had stayed for over a half an hour before Hermione came back and without a word as to what had happened she went back to her book ignoring the look Ron had given her.

Malfoy had managed to slip out unnoticed and Harry turned to the sound of a throat being cleared gently.

“Potter, may I speak with you privately?”

“Uh, sure,” he had replied and followed Malfoy to their room.

“I feel I need to explain to you what happened,” he began after locking the door to keep their discussion private.

“You don’t have to tell me anything you’re not comfortable with me knowing,” Harry told him honestly.

“I just need to talk to someone and I trust that you’ll respect my privacy.”

Harry had been shocked that Malfoy had trusted him that much. He sat on the edge of his bed and gave Malfoy the respect he deserved.

“I was born female,” Malfoy said quickly. “My father had been so disappointed that he forbid mother from treating me as a girl and they raised me as a boy. When I got older father began giving me potions so I would look male, but when he was sent Azkaban there were no more potions and the effects have started to reverse.”

“Do you see yourself as a boy or a girl?” Harry asked and Malfoy took a while to answer.

“Both, I think. Sometimes I don’t feel like either, sometimes I’m very much one or the other. But most of the time I’m a boy.”

“So, calling you ‘him’ is okay?”

Malfoy had nodded. “Thank you, by the way, for Granger.”

“I dated Ginny long enough to know the signs, I just thought ‘Mione would be able to help you better than I could.”

“She did and I appreciated her help, and yours.”

And that was it. That’s what had turned their relationship from total avoidance to tentative friendship founded on trust. Malfoy had opened up to both Harry and Hermione, and had started joining in more with the trio during lessons, meals and Hogshead weekends.

It had all ended a few months later when Malfoy had gone home during winter hols and both he had his mother had been arrested and sent to Azkaban.

By the time Harry had learned of it, it had been too late for him to do anything to help and thanks to the rules about communication for inmates, Harry had been completely unable to contact him at all. The only information he had been given Malfoy and his mother’s release dates. Malfoy had been given 30 months; his mother had been given 5 years.

Harry blinked and shook of the memories from over two years ago. Malfoy was here now and Harry hoped they would have the chance to rebuild the friendship they had started that last year in school.

He stood and cast another charm to check his condition and found him stable, his fever was not high enough to worry about yet as the number glowed a cautious amber, so Harry sat back to watch over him again.

**Author's Note:**

> come see me! havingaverydrarryday@tumblr


End file.
